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A Review of "If I Fall, If I Die"

I took a risk on this one, and I was skeptical.  A book about a pubescent  boy who had never been outside, venturing out and befriending a bunch of skateboarders?  How could I, a twenty-something female, relate to this character?  Well, I'm glad I took a chance.

Michael Christie writes with an authentic understanding of his subject and story content.  The story takes place in Thunder Bay, Ontario, the author's actual hometown, and is about a boy who grows up with his mother who suffers from an illness called Agoraphobia.  This illness, Christie describes, is like a fear of fear.  And he would know.  His own mother suffered from the same illness in real life.  In addition to this,  Christie was once a professional skateboarder, so it only makes sense that Will, our main character, would find much of his courage and strength in skateboarding.  Michael Christie's experiences and knowledge add a lot to the story.

The basic plot has already been outlined - a teenage boy who has spent all of his life inside his house due to his mother's constant fear and concern.  One day, he ventures out and it changes him.  He begins going to school, makes friends, discovers girls, and learns to skateboard.  With every fall he becomes more confident that the world isn't as scary as he once thought.

But the story is so much more complex.
There are really several plots unfolding all at once.  The town itself has a life if it's own, a deep history of racism and injustice, and the fall of the town as the economy shifted.

We get a front row seat to his mother's illness and how it has progressed over time.  We also watch as she learns courage too, a balancing act of fear and love as she lets her son grow and explore.

And of course,  we have Will.  Innocent, naive, always-talking Will.  His adventure is full of twists and turns as he and his best friend go on the hunt for a missing boy from their town.  We see him step up in incredibly courageous and dangerous (and sometimes stupid) ways.  His search leads him to some other very unexpected company.

The book was delightfully surprising in its complexity.   I felt connected to the characters and sympathy for them all, especially Diane, Will's Mom.  Her love for her son is profound but unhealthy in so many ways.  The struggle to let your kids explore and get hurt is real and I get that.  I can't imagine how much her illness exacerbated that feeling.   I was proud of her.   I think Michael Christie did an admirable job capturing the difficult mother-son dynamic in this book, especially during an already tough age, adolescence.

Though it felt true to the characters, there was a bit of swearing and sexual references I could have lived without.  Because of those pieces I find it more challenging to recommend to certain audiences.  However, I enjoyed the characters and plot very much.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from bloggingforbooks.org in exchange for writing this honest review.

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